I need a break

I need a break from all the chaos of the world,

The rustling, noise, constant movement, social media,

The agitation, struggle, tossing, and turning,

The silent, crying myself to sleep,

The fear of not being able to fall asleep.

I need a break from the pain,

The hurting, despair, and misery of the world.

I need a break from being online,

From constantly feeding myself sadness,

Negativity, insecurity, low self-esteem.

I need a break from other people's thoughts,

And suffering.

I need a break from shoveling war in my soul,

The never-ending whining, the fear of being too much;

The fear of having too little to offer, too little to sacrifice,

Because I've given all of me this time and it might not be enough.

I need a break from the clapping of the keyboard,

The tiresome light of the screens,

The deafening sound of endless stories and posts.

I need a break from the chaos and the order;

Because - if I am to die, the world won't stop moving.

My mother's tears might fill a bucket or two,

But in the end - who was I?

Just another slave to the keyboard and the screens,

Just another lover of fairytales and majestic dreams,

An idealistic fool searching for a place to lay her head.

I need a break from everything,

But everything must be broken before I get my break.

Because the emptiness machine doesn't need fixing.

It needs abandoning.